Disconnected

Feeling a bit disconnected today and had the urge to write about it. I don't have the "answers" to change the feeling, but I do know that (after writing this) I can pinpoint what I'm feeling better and know what forward momentum looks like. 

To Blog or Not to Blog...That is the Question

 

Facing the question of whether or not I should keep blogging and other thoughts in todays post (yep, the first post of 2021...).

2020 - That's a Wrap

 2020 is almost over...and it's hard to believe. Let's look back and what happened and look ahead to what might happen.

Handling Rejection

This won't be completely new information to those of you who follow me on Instagram, but recently I received a rejection and, the more I think about it and talk with others, the more I feel the need to blog about it. So here it is.

Rest | Personal Post

Hello and welcome to 2020!

I realize it's been the New Year for 4 weeks now...but some things require easing into and I think this new year was exactly that for me. But, as I've taken my adjustment time, I'm finally ready to come to the blog and talk about a bit of a new focus for me!

Updates: Life and Writing

Hello my reader friends. Goodness it has been a long time since I've done an actual post. What is up with me? But I did want to take a few minutes to fill you in on what's been going on with me. So here it is!

A New Year's Non-Commitment

Yes, I do realize that we're 17 days into the New Year and you haven't heard from me for much longer than that. I'm afraid that, if I apologize for my absence, I may start to sound like a broken record 😑 So, in place of that apology I'm going to try and not try.

Book Review Pet Peeves

I've got to be honest here. I am all about book reviews. Obviously, I write them--you see them here and on my Goodreads all the time--but I also read them pretty consistently.

Confession...

I go straight to 1& 2 star reviews ALL the time. Maybe that's weird...but I find them to be (at times) hilarious, entertaining, and to sometimes contain nuggets of helpful truth. There have been many that I've read that are complete junk and you can tell they were either written by someone who never read the book or someone who's carrying some sort of odd grudge against books of a certain type or something.

But, there are a few things I can say for a fact that really really bother me when it comes to reviews...

An Admission & An Apology & An Update

The Admission

Sometimes life doesn't go like you've planned.

Sometimes life feels like you got caught in a rainstorm and forgot your umbrella, drenching you with all of its expectations and not letting you find shelter. (See real-life example of this to the left).

Sometimes life surprises you with awesome things--blessings in disguise--and you have to put other, equally good things aside in order to take hold of those blessings. (keep reading for an example)

Are you sensing a trend here?

What has Emilie been up to? 

Well, I'm glad you asked. Clearly it hasn't been blogging. *hangs head in shame*

Reading Habits Tag

I thought I'd do something fun today on the blog. I'm going to do the Reading Habits tag! I've heard of this one and considered doing it on my BookTube but I've been so sick and am only now just feeling better so I thought I'd do the written version for now.

Create Explore Read with Me in 2018

For those of you who have followed my blog for a while you'll probably have noticed a few things recently. I've been posting less (oops!) and over the last few years the content has mostly been filled with interviews and the occasional guest post. While I don't mind that, I also don't think it's the direction I want to continue in.

Making the Most of Your Time

I feel like every year November and December grow more chaotic. Is it just me? I mean...between trying to write for NaNoWriMo, my own writing work, photography, and then thinking about Christmas shopping, holiday parties, and...well, the list goes on...it's overwhelming.

As I was going to pick up something from a friend the other day I started to think about how much I had to do that day. You know what I started to feel? Sheer panic. I mean, my list of "to-dos" grew by five items just in the space of a minute of thought. And the worst part? I knew there was absolutely NO way I could accomplish all the things on that list. Talk about defeating.

Even worse? I never seem to accomplish my to-do lists. I mean, never. This reality has me ending each day disappointed in myself and feeling a little a lot like a failure. It's like trying to scale a mountain that keeps growing. Or maybe the mountain is made out of sand? Let's go with snow, for the season. The snow continues to fall and you keep sliding back...further and further. I'm afraid that one day I'll stop and look around me and think...I didn't go up at all, just backwards.

After this moment of panic, I mentally slapped myself and started speaking some truth to "inner Emilie". I began to recount all the things I already had done that morning. It was a long list. Then I thought of what I could reasonably accomplish that afternoon. Again, it was more than I realized. And the kicker? I thought about what life would have been like a hundred years ago. I imagined a woman my age and what she'd have to accomplish. Her list was probably something like: gather eggs, milk a cow, make food, do laundry. For the WHOLE day. Forget a trip to the store, forget visiting friends, forget updating her multiple social media outlets...nope, her focus would be on the tasks in front of her and do what she could. Though, to be fair, I'm sure she didn't get everything done either.

That may seem like an odd thing to think of--well, I'm an odd person 😉 But, really, it helped me put a few things in perspective.

We hold ourselves to a standard that is unattainable (most days). Sure, our to-do lists probably look impressive and exciting, but what they are (if not made with reality in mind) is a ball and chain dragging us down to disappointment.

Putting our time in perspective is the only way we'll be able to end the day feeling accomplished.

I'm not good at this, I'll be the first to admit it, but I'd like to encourage you (as I encourage myself) in this season to make plausible to-do lists. You probably can't bake 3 different types of cookies, visit 9 friends, and write three chapters, all while doing laundry, posting on Instagram, and practicing for church choir. Believe me, I've tried this...

Instead, plan out 2-3 things you know you can accomplish each day. Do those things well, and save the rest for the next day. You may not get as many things done in a day, but I've got a feeling what you do get done will be done well. And you'll also end the day feeling much more accomplished.

What about you? Do you have any tips or tricks to ending the day feeling satisfied? Share in the comments below! 
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Spread the Christmas Joy - Always

For those of you who have followed my blog for some time you'll know that I always do "Spread the Christmas Joy" here on my blog. I love it - I really do - but I've found myself without any time to organize something like that again this year. At least not in the way I did it in the years past.

Instead, I've decided to do something a little different. I'm going to focus on trying to blog more this month. Like--me, actually blogging! What a concept! I'm not sure what things will come out - some will be writing-focused, some social media posts, and some just thoughts on Christmas this year.

Me out getting our family Christmas tree!

As you can tell...I've already missed the first of December! But I think Christmas really isn't about getting things perfect so much as understanding who you are, what you've been given, and how truly beautiful the season can be if you stop and really see that beauty.

I will still do some giveaways this month - I've got some awesome books (doubles of the ones I already have) which means YOU all will get the chance to enter to win them.

But, aside from that, I hope that you'll enjoy this December on my blog. There'll be book reviews as I have time to read, book recommendations from my reading this year, and probably all manner of random thoughts and hopes for the future (as the end of the year always leaves me feeling introspective).

Lastly, as the part of my blog that is MOST important to me--I want to connect with YOU dear readers. I would love to hear from you via email, through Facebook, Instagram, or a comment here. Tell me what you're thankful for this season, what you're looking forward to in this coming new year, or maybe something you're thinking through during this holiday season. I'd love to hear any and all of it. YOU are why I write and why I have this blog.

In the mean time, check out my thoughts about feeling something this season over on the Putting on the New Blog, and have a lovely rest of the week!

Out on Epic Adventures

Hello friends! I am, as the title suggests, about to head out on epic adventures! I just packed up everything (all my books *sad face*) and just said "see ya later" to the trailer hauling all of my stuff to California. What now? Well,  I'm headed on one massively epic road trip!

I've been so blessed by my time here in Ohio. My church, Apex, welcomed me with open arms and I am SO thankful for the Springhill House Church for taking me in and making feel like family immediately. I will miss them all so much!

I wish I had time to tell you all of the amazing ways I've seen God work in my life here in Ohio, but for now, I'll share one of the things I've learned:

God is a trustworthy God. 

He is faithful. Always. In any circumstance, whether good or bad, He will see me (and you) through. I've had both good and bad times here in Dayton, and the same can be said for the rest of my life, but ultimately--no matter what happens--I know He will be with me.

All my stuff!

I'll try and keep you all updated here (along with my regular blog posts) but make sure to check out my Instagram stories (in the app under @createexploreread) to follow my adventrues. I promise to share silly faces and random things!

Prayers appreciated for my travels - they are rather extensive and take me through Texas!

Writer Goals 2017

It's January and guess what? I'm talking about goals this month! If you've missed my first post about Goal Setting you can check it out here. I also talk about my Life Goals for 2017 here.

Today's post focuses on my writing goals for the year. I considered getting really specific (something I definitely advocate) but there's a lot of "what if's" in the writing industry and I don't want to get my (or anyone else's) hopes up with talking about specific projects. Instead, I'm sharing my focus for the year with regards to writing.

Writer Goals for 2017

Reading more craft book
I read--I mean, I read a lot. Not as much as I'd like to actually, and not as much as some people who read upwards of  100+ books a year, but I feel like with the amount of work that I do and being able to read 65 books last year that's not half bad. What is harder for me is reading writing craft books. I love them--don't get me wrong--but when I want to sit down with a book, I want to sit down and get lost in a fictional world. Not do more work, haha! This year I want to be consistent in honing my craft to end the year a better writer than how I have, and am currently, starting it.

Some craft books on my to-read list are:

Plot Versus Character by Jeff Gerke

Take Off Your Pants: Outline Your Books for Faster, Better Writing by Libbie Hawker

45 Master Characters by Victoria Lynn Schmidt

Story Trumps Structure by Steven James 

Hack Your Readers Brain by Jeff Gerke

Creating Character Arcs: The Masterful Author's Guide to Uniting Story Structure, Plot, and Character Development by K.M. Weiland

Probably a few books by James Scott Bell

Consistent Critique
One of the best ways to hone your writing is to have other eyes on it. I'll be honest and say this is hard for me. Not that I don't want to make my books better or that I don't trust my critique partners but...that's my baby they are cutting up! Ha! Then again, just like a rose bush grows and produces vibrant flowers by being pruned, so will a story grow. This year I really want to get into a consistent pattern of critiquing current projects as well as side ones as they come up.

Writing More Freely 
Call me crazy, but it's easy to listen to "the voices"--and I don't mean the ones in my head. They are the ones that talk about writing success, what you should and shouldn't do, how to write the "best story", how to get published, why my book stinks...and the list goes on. But I've decided this year I'm not going to listen to "them". Yes, I will seek out advice from trusted sources like my published author friends and those in the industry, but at the heart of it all, I want to listen to the inspiration in my soul--at least upon the initial writing of my manuscript. That, in my opinion, is the "sweet spot". The part of me that needs to be undeniable in the story. My voice. After it's out and editing begins I'll push that back a little to listen to those I trust, but I don't want to handicap myself by letting the outside in where my heart needs to lead the way.

Consistency on my Newsletter
Last, but not least, I really want to be better at getting my newsletter out to you all. It's a source of joy for me, but my time gets eaten by the many things vying for my attention and it gets pushed to the side. I do solemnly swear I will do my best to get it out once a month (to the best of my abilities). If you haven't signed up yet, do so now! It will go out next week and kick off my monthly commitment ;)

What about you? Any other writers out there? If so, share one writing goal you have for 2017! 

Why I Failed NaNoWriMo And Why It's Okay | NaNo Day 29

Things change. I feel like that has been the mantra of my life as of late. Things I'd planned on, hopes I'd had, ideas that seemed to be part of the future were close to my grasp...and then a shift, a turn, a change. I'd like to say that I'm good with such changes--that I embrace them with fervor and turn my smiling face to the next, new thing--but I'm not. I may not be horrible with them either, but I wouldn't classify myself as a "go with the flow" person all of the time. I'm more of a "the flow has changed? let's make a new plan" type.

That's why, when I looked at the reality of accomplishing NaNoWriMo a few days ago and saw that it would mean writing 6,667 words a day (on top of my 3,500 words I have to write for my freelance work and running my Etsy shop) I knew it wasn't possible.

This breaks my heart. I had so looked forward to my NaNo novel and really getting a jumpstart on it. I challenged myself to make a grand comeback this year as my 9th year. After a hiatus last year I thought, This is the year! But that wasn't to be.

You see, I have this thing with expectations. I'm terrible about them. I start to formulate the future, planning for things that should never be counted on due to the volatile nature of life, and then, when they crumble, I'm left feeling like a failure. It's not hard to do when you are trying so hard to be perfect...yet another flaw of mine.

But, in life as in NaNo, I can't be perfect. I can't live the perfect life, I can't write the perfect story, I can only follow the Perfect One. Despite all of the changes, disappointments, surprises, and confusion recently, there is one constant in my life. Christ. He beckons me to Himself telling me that it's alright to let go. To unclench my fisted hands and give up the notion that I can maneuver the rocky trails of my life on my own. Whether that be with relationships or writing, I can only plan on One thing: His faithfulness.

I've failed National Novel Writing Month, but I haven't failed Him. I'm 30,000 words into a Sci-fi novel I'm really enjoying. I'm home with my family for the holiday season. I'm on the path that He has set before me. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking blind, but that's the time to cling more tightly to Him and to trust. So maybe this whole failure thing isn't that bad...

Did you participate in NaNoWriMo? How did you do? Will you finish by tomorrow?

Overcoming The Chaos of Cancer by Barbara M. Britton | Guest Post

If I knew as an author that my life would encompass the theme of my novel, I would have chosen something fun and lively instead of “God is in control even in the chaos of life.” Who wants chaos? Not me. I like a well-ordered life. A predictable life fitting nicely on a calendar with one inch squares.

In “Providence: Hannah’s Journey,” Hannah bat Zebula, daughter of the chief priest, desires to be healed of deformities. Her desire catapults her on an adventure where she encounters one threat after another. God is faithful to Hannah and never gives her more than she can overcome. As I wrote this story, I had no idea I would need healing from a cancer growing in my breast. Breast cancer affects 1 in 5 women, but I never expected to be the “one.” And boy did I pray for God to help me overcome the medical challenges in my life.

Chaos is defined as complete disorder. With my initial diagnosis of a small tumor, I thought I could manage the chaos. A lumpectomy only requires day surgery and radiation is a non-invasive procedure. Totally do-able. I had dodged the cancer bullet. Prayer chains were called. My mom came to pamper me. I could do this. After all, we had found this cancer early. Right?

Wrong.

At my follow-up appointment, chaos reigned. My cancer had tricked medical technology. 3D mammography had picked up a piece of the tumor, but not the surrounding invasion. A breast MRI was fooled. Doctors were fooled. I was fooled. I still had cancer. And with it, a genetic mutation called BRCA-1 which leaves me susceptible to more breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

God, how could this be? This is not what we prayed for. More surgery awaited me, but how much? Decisions had to be made on whether to take off one breast or two. Do I reconstruct during surgery? Leave the ovaries?

God is in control even in the chaos of life.

In December, among the festive lights and wrapped gifts, and before I celebrated my Savior’s birth, I ordered the chaos of cancer and had a bi-lateral mastectomy and an oophorectomy with no reconstruction. Today, I am breast free. In my story, my character Hannah is ultimately healed (spoiler alert), but I don’t look like the old me. And that’s okay because I am alive and healthy. God has granted me more days on His earth to enjoy my family and to write books. Plus, I know my glorified body is going to rock.

When you see me, I look like everyone else. I joke with my friends that my prosthetics are false advertising. Like Hannah, I am adjusting to being different. A smile crossed my face when my son remarked he forgot I don’t have any boobs. So, I guess a bit of cancer chaos remains. Enough to remind me that God is faithful. I have a renewed sense of praise for each day God grants me on this earth. I praise Him for my health. For the time I spend with my friends and family. For physicians and hospitals. For the power of prayer. For being able to relate to people going through chaos. I thank him for His providence in my life.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This year is my first year as a survivor. Praise the Lord! Though, my heart is heavy for those I knew who didn’t make it through the chaos of cancer. So, make your life journey the best it can be. Don’t delay your yearly mammogram. Seek out 3D imaging. Don’t wait if a spot shows up, even if it can’t be found on an ultrasound. A biopsy gives you peace of mind, or motivates action. Rally your prayer warriors and meal makers. Don’t suffer in silence. Compare notes with others in the same struggle. And remember…God is in control even in the chaos of life.

4 things I hope readers will do after hearing my story:

1. Schedule a yearly mammogram with 3D technology (if 3D is available)
2. Do not wait to biopsy if something shows up on their mammogram
3. Advocate for yourself in your medical care
4. Do not suffer in silence

_________________

Barbara M. Britton was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, but currently lives in Wisconsin and loves the snow—when it accumulates under three inches. She writes romantic adventures for teens and adults. Barb has a nutrition degree from Baylor University but loves to dip healthy strawberries in chocolate. She is a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, Wisconsin Romance Writers of America, Romance Writers of America and American Christian Fiction Writers. You can follow Barbara on Facebook and Twitter.

Providence: Hannah's Journey
by Barbara M. Britton

Purchase

As the sole daughter of the chief priest, Hannah is publicly shamed when the prophet of Israel refuses to heal her.

Determined to restore her family’s honor, Hannah escapes Jerusalem in hopes of finding the prophet and convincing him to heal her deformities. Gilead, a young Hebrew guard sympathetic to her plight, willingly accompanies her. On their way, they are captured by a band of raiders.

Hannah is forced to serve in the household of the commander of the Aramean army, an officer who is in need of healing himself. Meanwhile Gilead is being used as sword practice for the Aramean soldiers.

Hannah must act fast to save Gilead and herself. But survival means coaxing the prophet of Israel to heal and enemy commander.

Welcome Fall + Fall Giveaway

"It's beginning to look a lot like...fall?"

By now it's probably obvious that I have an obsession with all things Christmas (including listening to Christmas music way before it's "allowed") but coming in at a close second is my obession with fall. The minute September hit's--no matter the weater--I start to look for any indication that leaves are changing color and I wish for a crispness to enter the air.

As I mentioned in this post, I am focusing on the start of fall (if I focus on it does that mean it'll come faster?) so today I thought I'd share a look at the fall-ness that's popping up in my still-slithgtly-barren apartment.

I have quite the obsession with antiques and, as you can tell from the picture, I've utilized them already even though half of my things are still packed. This awesome 40's vintage fan was a gift from my dad and I've got some antique books under my new fall sign ($4 a Walmart people!).

I also--obviously--have an obession with owls AND Ronie Kendig...
P.S. Did you know that the second book in her Fantasy series, Accelerant, is coming out in October!!!!??? See more details here.

And last but certainly not least, my new bookcase has been fall-ed out! This is my writing shelf and I love it so much! And, if you like that mug, you can find it here along with all the other things I've designed :D

So, there you have it friends! Some touches of fall that bring a smile to my face and happiness to my heart. And, as promised, I've got a giveaway for you all to celebrate the start of fall. I'll be giving away this beautiful Gratitude coloring jorunal from Tyndale (I ended up with an extra--see my reivew here), a Just Read bookmark from my Etsy shop, and a $10 starbucks gift card!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You Never Know: Life is Short, Live Well

I debated about writing this post. Who am I to talk about death as if I understand it? Who am I to share words of caution when I’ve never had anyone snatched from me in the prime of their life? Sure, I’ve lost older relatives and I’ve had a few acquaintances pass in an untimely manner, but never anyone “really close”.

But then I stopped myself with one thought: We all need a wake-up call. And maybe, because I know I need it, it’s okay to talk about it.

Yesterday, I was scrolling through Facebook and caught a post of a friend, one from college that I hadn’t seen or talked to in a very long time. You probably know how it goes. You “keep up” on Facebook which is just glorified stalking, but you feel a part of their life in a little, small way. I knew she had just been married recently and I wasn’t completely understanding what I read in the post. Cue further exploration on her page only to discover the horrible news that she had just lost her husband of five weeks. FIVE weeks. I am devastated for her, but my emotions can’t hold a candle to the floodlights of her grief.

My thoughts spiraled. Anyone—and I do mean anyone—can be snatched away in the blink of an eye. I know we don’t like thinking about death, I know I don’t relish the thought either, but the fact is that we will all die at one point.

To me, the bigger question isn’t how we’ll die, but how we’ll live.

As a Christian, I don’t fear death. I know it’s coming—hey, it could even be today for me as I sit in my comfy chair writing and editing photos like a mad woman per usual—but I know that death won’t be the end for me. Because of that hope, I live differently. I have to! Not because I’m commanded to, but because I want to. I want to please God, love people like crazy, write my heart out for Him, and ultimately live a life that mirrors Christ’s as much as possible.

That’s hard. Living life well is hard. But in the end, I want no regrets. Sure, I’ll make mistakes (I already have, and I’m sure we can all relate) but I will rely on His grace and strength to pull me through. Yes, I’ll mess up. Like a little child trying to help in the kitchen, I’ll spill flour everywhere and break a few dishes, but God will correct me, guide me, and help me.

The struggle, though real, is hard, but so worth it.

So today I challenge you to face your own mortality. Have you told those close to you that you love them? Can you rest in the comfort of knowing that there is life after death? Do you live in a manner that shows Christ’s love to all? I know it’s not something we wake up thinking about, but in order to live well, we must realize life is short (even if it holds 80 years for us) and living it well is what’s important.

For my friend, the grief is still very fresh, but I know that she clings to the fact that she’ll see her husband again. Please pray for her comfort and, if you feel led, there is a GoFundMe page set up to help with funeral expenses.

The Fun of Fall: Creativity Fuel

I can hear it now..."But Emilie, it' isn't fall yet." No, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Yes, I realize it's not fall quite yet. I mean, I am 2 weeks early with this post but I decided that the month of September would be for celebrating fall here on the blog, so I'm kicking off the month (a little late) with my first fall post.

The moment there is even the slightest hint of fall--did someone say Pumpkin Spice Lattes?--there' s an itching in my veins for cold weather, scarves, walks through leafy lanes, and lots of coffee. Okay, so there's always an itching in my veins of lots of coffee but I digress...

This year is no different. I'm living in a new state--hello, Ohio--and eagerly looking forward to what it has to offer by way of yellow, red, and orange leaves, pumpkins, and that certain feeling of crispness in the air. For me, someone who enjoys this fall weather immensely, I find my creativity is fueled by the change.

Am I alone in this or is anyone else out there feeling the reawakening of dreams and the motivation to accompolish them? 

One thing I'm eagerly looking forward to during this new season is a little bit of extra time for my writing. I've been saying this for a while now, but it's coming close to being a reality (close, though not quite here yet...). The fall weather beckons me to don a blanket and write like there's no tomorrow. I've already got a few projects lined up to finish, as mentioned in my recent newsletter, and then it's time to plan for NaNoWriMo! (Pssst! Have you signed up for my newsletter? There's a special giveaway going for subscribers and there's still time to enter. Sign up HERE.)

 >insert lots of grinning and excitement about NaNoWriMo here<

Whatever this season brings to you this year, I hope that it will be something uniquely wonderful for you. A new season can act much like a refresher--a reminder of the fact that each day is a new beginning. I hope that your fall, whenever it starts and whatever it looks like, brings you renewed excitement over old projects and motivation to get things done.

Some of my favorite fall things...

• Apple cider
• Fall leaves of all colors 
• Scarves
• Pumpkin - in all forms
• PSL (pumpkin spice latte's for you non-Starbucks people out there)
• Cold, clear days
• Cold, cloudy days (hehe) 
• Boots!
• The freedom to make soups and stews
• Fall decorations
• Christmas Music...yes, I'm that person

What are some of YOUR favorite fall things? Comment below!