Honest Thoughts: Blogging - The struggle is real

Can I get an amen? 

Here at Thinking Thoughts I celebrate all the good things like books, reading, coffee (ok, tea too), awesome authors, and writing. As I've been thinking about the purpose behind...well, lots of things but especially things like this blog and my writing, I've come to some interesting conclusions. Um, maybe conclusions is too much of a word. I've started to think about things. Ironic, I know, due to the title of the blog.

One thing that got me thinking about this is the fact that, per a conversation I had with an industry professional back at the ACFW conference last year, the title Thinking Thoughts isn't a "good" title. My younger, start-up blogger self from 2009 cried a little at this thinking, "But...but...it's my blog! My baby!" Though the slightly-more-marketing-savvy-blogger-self half halfheartedly agreed with the sentiment.

I've come a long way since my first blog post not only in word count but in understanding of what a blog is and should be. I am by no means an expert, but I've come into a rhythm with myself on what it looks like to write Thinking Thoughts. I've devoted it to readers, writers, and Jesus followers (as I like to say) but is that enough?

Following my super fun and productive weekend in Florida with fellow writer friend Natalie (this is her modeling the "Dream. Write. Inspire." bag from my Society6 shop), I walked away with one major thought that she so graciously pointed out.

...PASSION...

Did you just think: Um, what? Well, that's understandable but let me explain. As we talked about marketing, the publishing industry, our books, other people's books, and sooo much more, we started to narrow down the focus for each of us. It's easy to say you want to make an impact on others, but it's another thing to figure out what that impact will bring.

We each started to think through this question: What do I bring to the table?

It's one thing to answer that question for yourself but another to see what other people say about that for you. I so value Natalie's opinions because she nailed down something that had been lightly hidden beneath the surface of all the things I like to do or participate in. It's passion. I'm likely going to butcher the way she explained it to me, but I needed to put it in my own words so that I could grasp it.

I thrive on the passion. I've blogged about it often (like here, and here) but the thing I keep coming back to is how much my own passions--as well as that of others--inspire me. It pushes me to create, to explore, to understand. If I meet you in person I will likely ask you what you do. Here in DC that is a common thing because a lot of people place importance on their day jobs. I don't ask because of that, but because I want to see how people describe what they do. There is a stark contrast between people who describe what they do in a monotone and those who launch into an all-inclusive depiction of their jobs because they love them. Those are the people I love to listen to.

In thinking about this blog (and the numerous attempts I've made to hone in on something specific) I see why I have trouble. I'm not a person who is only passionate about writing. I'm not just passionate about reading. I'm not only interested in photography. It's just...not possible for me. Not in my DNA. I'm not sure, but I do know that I am consumed by more than that. (This is likely why it's hard for me to pick one genre to write in...but that's a whole different blog post).

This passion shows itself in my writing, in my photos, in my social media posts, you name it. It's all inclusive. That passion is the thread that binds me together. That makes up who Emilie Hendryx is.

Ah, wonderful, I think. Now what?

Honestly? I'm not sure. I know (mentally) about the smart steps to branding yourself. I understand the concept of growing an audience and...blah blah blah (um, can I say that?). But I get frustrated with convention. Yes, Thinking Thoughts isn't the most descriptive name and it will likely change at one point, but there are a few things that I realize I'm committed to and passionate about:

• I'm passionate about sharing about great books and authors here on the blog and through my reviews.
• I'm passionate about books with great story lines--no matter the genre. 
• I'm passionate about sharing what I'm learning about writerly things like marketing, design, writing, and the like.
• I'm passionate about reading (oh soooo much reading).
• I'm passionate about Jesus and how He is at the center of my life. 
• I'm passionate about being REAL with everyone. 

There isn't a conclusion to this post. It's a lot of thoughts (again, likely a no-no) meandering throughout, but it's refreshing to admit that I enjoy a lot of creative things. I'll leave you with this: Hello, my name is Emilie and I struggle with being too passionate about creativity. ;-)

What about you? What are YOU passionate about? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!

I think I need to retire...

Retirement is sounding really good right now. 

Ok, ok...I don't mean to say that I don't like my job - because I definitely do!  But, I have been thinking lately how difficult it is to find time to write and edit and read and do photography and work all within the same week.  I know that, being a writer, reading is important to honing my craft.  Editing is also important which means that I should add reading books about editing to my already long reading list.  In addition to that, I'm trying to refine a few full-length manuscripts for contests and publication which takes a long time.  If weeks continue like this one has, I will be busy every night this week leaving me... well, just about no time to work on anything.

Hum...am I sounding whiny?  Because that is never good.

I do have to wonder though, am I the only person that feels this way?  I'd wager a guess and say no.  How often do we find ourselves in positions where we have a desire to do one thing but find other things getting in the way?  I think that could translate to our spiritual walk, our relationships with friends and family, or (like me) our passions. 

I long for a day when I can wake up and make my way to my little desk and write!!! All day, every day.  Ok, with some photography scattered in there.  Oh yeah, and a cup of coffee or two (or three...).  Then I remember that the Lord leads us where He wants us.  If I were asked, I'd say that I know I'm supposed to be right where I am for now.  He may lead me in a different direction in the future but I know that He will lead me there when it's His time.

For now, I am confident in Him and His plans for me.  I am so absolutely blessed in my current job working for my church and moving into a new office space with an incredible window (pictured to the right).  I desire to live each day thankful and seeking out what I have to be thankful for!

How about you, my dear readers?  Do you face these desires?  Maybe not to be retired so you can do nothing, but to move into a state of freedom to pursue passions?  How are you coping with your current situation?  How do you stay content? 

If you have the time, I'd love to hear from you in the comments below :)

ACFW & Varoius Passions

Welp, I became a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) tonight.  [Check out the fun badge to the left of my blog - fancy!]  I also spent an inordinate amount of time looking through the vast resources that come with this membership as well as numerous blogs and posts related to other writing pursuits, conferences, and resources.  So.  Much.  Information.

*sigh*

I think what I'm feeling is my age...the funny thing is, I'm not feeling it in the way you'd normally hear, such as "feeling your old age".  I'm feeling my young age.  

I've heard it said that you shouldn't publish a book until after the age of 40.  Now, I'm not sure they (whomever they were) meant a fiction book or a non-fiction book or just any book in general, but that really puts me at a disadvantage.  I mean, that would mean I need to wait at least 14 more years!!  Call me crazy, but I'm not that patient.  Though maybe the moral of it all is that I should be?  Not sure on that one...

The goal to publish does seem daunting.  Pair that with the other things I'm passionate about (like photography, music, ministry, my job etc.) and I have to wonder, do I peruse all of these things?  And if the answer to that is no - how do I choose what to cut? 

This isn't an entirely new thought to me.  I've always taken on more than I should.  I don't like the idea of always answering "busy" to the question, "How are you?".  Yet, I'm a natural 'go-getter' and feel almost guilty sitting around not doing anything when I could be doing something. 

Balance.

As many wise people in my life have frequently reminded me, I need to focus on having balance not only in my life but before the Lord.  What is good, better, and best?  My discipler always likes to remind me of this! :)  Not all things are bad, but you have to choose which is best - not just good.  To choose to focus on Christ first and allow those scattered pieces of my life to fall into their rightful place.  Resting in Him is something I want to do.  More than that, it's something I need to do. 

I've been challenged by the idea that our lives as Christians cannot simply exist as "our lives + Christ".  He can't just be "a part" of our lives but rather the center of our lives.  I've always thought of it like a tether ball pole and a doughnut.  We want to be the doughnut - our lives circling around some nebulous "something" while the real bulk of it is our lives.  Instead, we need to be the ball attached to the rope which is anchored to the pole.  We are rotating around the pole, not the other way around.

I may not be 40, and I may not be a perfect writer, but I do know I have passion for it.  My prayer is that I would accurately balance that passion (along with the many others) with a fire and insatiable hunger for Christ.  I pray passion for Him would out-shadow anything I want and, in turn, shape what I am doing.