Welp, I became a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) tonight. [Check out the fun badge to the left of my blog - fancy!] I also spent an inordinate amount of time looking through the vast resources that come with this membership as well as numerous blogs and posts related to other writing pursuits, conferences, and resources. So. Much. Information.
I think what I'm feeling is my age...the funny thing is, I'm not feeling it in the way you'd normally hear, such as "feeling your old age". I'm feeling my young age.
I've heard it said that you shouldn't publish a book until after the age of 40. Now, I'm not sure they (whomever they were) meant a fiction book or a non-fiction book or just any book in general, but that really puts me at a disadvantage. I mean, that would mean I need to wait at least 14 more years!! Call me crazy, but I'm not that patient. Though maybe the moral of it all is that I should be? Not sure on that one...
The goal to publish does seem daunting. Pair that with the other things I'm passionate about (like photography, music, ministry, my job etc.) and I have to wonder, do I peruse all of these things? And if the answer to that is no - how do I choose what to cut?
This isn't an entirely new thought to me. I've always taken on more than I should. I don't like the idea of always answering "busy" to the question, "How are you?". Yet, I'm a natural 'go-getter' and feel almost guilty sitting around not doing anything when I could be doing something.
As many wise people in my life have frequently reminded me, I need to focus on having balance not only in my life but before the Lord. What is good, better, and best? My discipler always likes to remind me of this! :) Not all
things are bad, but you have to choose which is best - not just good. To choose to focus on Christ first and allow those scattered pieces of my life to fall into their rightful place. Resting in Him is something I want to do. More than that, it's something I need to do.
I've been challenged by the idea that our lives as Christians cannot simply exist as "our lives + Christ". He can't just be "a part" of our lives but rather the center of our lives. I've always thought of it like a tether ball pole and a doughnut. We want to be the doughnut - our lives circling around some nebulous "something" while the real bulk of it is our lives. Instead, we need to be the ball attached to the rope which is anchored to the pole. We are rotating around the pole, not the other way around.
I may not be 40, and I may not be a perfect writer, but I do know I have passion for it. My prayer is that I would accurately balance that passion (along with the many others) with a fire and insatiable hunger for Christ. I pray passion for Him would out-shadow anything I want and, in turn, shape what I am doing.