Honest Thoughts: When Things Change

Life has a funny way of changing. I'm not sure if any of you have noticed this. No? Oh, well then, it must just be me.

It's strange really. At one moment you're heading in one direction thinking, well this is nice, and the next you're making a turn you never saw coming. It too can be nice--maybe even better than nice--but sometimes the unexpected nature of it overshadows its nice-ness. And sometimes it doesn't and that unexpected change is just the thing you've been wanting.

For me, one of those big changes came last year in May. Many of you were part of my journey when I made the big move from California to Washington, D.C. in July of 2014. Whew boy, that was a biggie. It was not only a change in location, but a coastal change, job change, and cultural change.

Then, in May, I felt called to switch churches. If you remember, I had moved out to DC to be a part of a church plant and to work with them as a photographer and writer (you can read more about opportunity here). It was a good experience but the Lord made it clear that I was to attend a different church--Redemption Hill Church in Capitol Hill.

Believe me, the change was not expected and for a time I found myself...floundering. The new church was great--wonderful even--but it wasn't what I was expecting. I felt as if suddenly everything I'd known had been snatched away and I was left bare and purposeless. Of course that was not the case, but it was a feeling I had to wrestle with. What was I supposed to do if I wasn't volunteering at church? If I wasn't working for a church? If I didn't know more than a handful of people? If I didn't know where or how I belonged?

I decided to embrace the sudden lack of direction and petitioned the Lord to show me what was next. Was I to plug in and volunteer immediately? Was I to wait? I spent time in this "limbo"attending the church but not in any other capacity. It was actually a very sweet time of learning, but I grew restless. I'm not one to sit by and not help when there is a need.

from @leighmunsil

Funny enough, a few weeks into this the worship pastor told the church that they were actively seeking out new members for the team. Then several of my friends "happened" to mention this to me at key points during the week. You see, I had also led worship at the church I'd moved to DC with, as well as leading at my previous church. I distinctly remember taking a run one morning and praying--asking the Lord if this was where He wanted me to plug in (if they could even use me) or if I still needed to wait. His answer was, "Go for it." So I did - and I've been serving on the worship team ever since. I've even gotten the chance to help with the women's conference (pictured to the left) and at another church plant in the area leading worship for them on a few Sunday's here and there.

You see, I wouldn't trade these last two years for anything, despite the fact they there were parts of them that were very hard. I'd left California with the phrase, "don't live safe" embedded in my mind and heart, and I think along the way, when things got hard, I forgot that. I sometimes forgot that God is the ruler and director of my life because, at those times, it felt like He'd forgotten that I needed Him. As if the tides of change had washed away His hold on me.That, of course, was not true.

He never let go.

Now, I'm facing another move. Yep, that's right, come August I will be moving to Dayton, Ohio. There'll be more details on that move come another post, but I want to encourage all who may be in a season of change to stop and reflect on what the Lord may be teaching you. I know He is teaching me patience and to release control because there are so many details to work out for this move that only He can control them. It's easy to forget in the moment though. To get side tracked by what would (in my mind) be best rather than what He knows is best.

I'm excited to share more as exciting things are on the horizon: the move, the Realm Makers Conference, the ACFW Conference, and fun things concerning my writing, but above all of that is the reality that, when things change, the Lord is in control of it all.

What have you learned from change in your life? I'd love to hear in the comments below!

Honest Thoughts: Another Year Older

It's my birthday! I know, you're probably thinking: why blog on your birthday? This will be short, but I felt inspired by a day of relaxing to do a quick post. I'm actually celebrating my birthday with a "Fall Day" with my roommate. We've turned the AC down a bit and broken out the fall scented candles and pumpkin flavored goodies. I'm about to finish up reading Like Never Before by Melissa Tagg and then we'll end the night with movies and pizza. This may sound "lame" to some...but it's the perfect, restful day for me.

Well, I've hit 30. I know...the big 3-0. I can hardly believe I've been here on earth for 30 years. I suppose a birthday is as good a day as any to reflect back on life. Being an introspective person, I tend to do a lot of deep thinking that sometimes comes out and other times remains hidden in the back of my mind until it's ready to see daylight.

For this birthday I think I'll leave the deep thinking for another day and just reflect back on some of the highlights, joys, and fond memories up until this point. These are in no particular order and just things that have come to mind:

• Camping on the Oregon coast with my parents (no slugs thank you!)
• Knowing some of my best friends for over 20 years
• Being part of ACFW and meeting some of my favorite authors
• Having a fantastic, Godly roommate for the last 5 years!
• Seeing God's provision for my life
• Meeting Brendan <3 br="">
• Being self-employed and having my "dream job" of writing and photography 
• Living in Washington, DC & attending Redemption Hill Church
• My writing buddies!
• Getting an agent - just one step closer to my dream of being a published author!
• Coffee. Just coffee.
• All of the amazing friends I've met blogging & on Insatagram (#bookstagram!)
• My relationship with my parents 
• Souled Out Youth Group
• Becoming a godmother to Baby T!!! 
• Books Books Books
• Keeping connections with friends all over the country/world (I miss you all!!!)
• Lastly, but MOST importantly, my relationship with Christ!

I know I missed a TON of amazing things in this list, but they were just a few things that came to mind. I feel like, even in making this little list, I realize more and more it is the people we connect with that truly make life beautiful. It's about community and genuine connections. The "things" are good, but without people to share them with they are dulled. I am blessed to have so many amazing, genuine, Godly friendships and the ability to share the highs and the lows of life with these people is truly the best.

Thank you to all of you who follow me on this blog (even when I'm a bit "MIA" because of life/work craziness) and thank you to all of those who are in my community near and far. Here's to 30!

Honest Thoughts: The Reality of Freelancing

Whew. I think this post is so appropriate for a number of reasons but namely the fact that I haven't been able to keep up with my honest Thoughts posts because of my freelancing. Ha! Talk about irony.

And now I'm on a trip of epic proportions (see "the Good" section below). I'm going to be GONE for an entire month! Craziness - am I right? But, in thinking about freelancing, I just had to write this post and share my honest thoughts.

The Good, the Less Good, the Bad
The minute I tell people I'm a freelancer I have a feeling they have an image of me lounging around the house all day, sipping coffee leisurely, and pretty much doing whatever I want. That is not completely true.

The Good: I can work from home - or anywhere else! I'm gone for a month and part of that time I'll spend working, but from wherever I'll be. That is awesome! Plus I do get to have flexibility with my time during that day--to an extent. I can grab coffee with someone in the morning or a late lunch in the afternoon. Things can be flexible--sometimes.

The Less Good: Not everyone understands that being a freelancer still means you have to work (hehe). Especially in DC's economy I need to work even harder to make it (this is not a plea for pity, just a reality). That sometimes means long days, late nights, and weekend work. Yuck. But hey--I am doing what I love which is a big reward. But working from home isn't always easy either with lots of distractions and other things to do too so that can be "less good".

The Bad: Self-Employment is hard! Ha! I know - that's no big news but it's true. I love being my own boss, but that means if I want to take a vacation or even a sick day, I have to work extra for that. Medical Insurance isn't included, there are no benefits, and my success is directly related to how much time I can invest in my various business ventures. Some of this will change as the businesses grow and change themselves, but it will always be difficult (and yet rewarding) to be self-employed.

Source

You are Literally a Time Lord
For those who don't get the reference--thank you Doctor Who. I do love the fact that I get to dictate my time. Yes - I can often be found working in my PJ's in bed. And yes, I do spend days drinking coffee...but it's more like guzzling it rather than delicate sips ;-). As mentioned with "the bad" though, I am directly responsible for my time. This is fantastic when things are going well, but what happens when I get sick? It also means that, though I can be working all hours of the day (and sometimes do) I need to plan for time off. This is HARD for me. My computers right there and I could easily just...do...one..more...thing. Next thing you know it's 2 am and I should have gone to bed. So, along with being a Time Lord comes responsibility - who knew?

A Lot for a Little
This is probably my biggest pet peeve area. Most (and I say most because I have no idea of a percentage here) freelancers are underpaid. I'm not just saying that because I am one. It's true. Content creation, editing, ghost writing...you name it--doesn't usually gross very much. Now, that's not true for all gigs and I will admit that I work for some fantastic people who are generous with me and my work, but that's not always the case. It's sad really. So, that's just a little plug to say - if you work with freelancers, pay them for their work. They need to eat too ;-)

So there you have it friends. A few little tidbits of reality taken from the life of a freelancer. I am blessed to do what I do and to enjoy it, but know that it's not all roses and sunshine (or sweatpants and coffee...thought this is more of a reality at times).

How about you? Do you freelance? Can you relate? If not, would you like to work from home (or elsewhere)? Why?

Honest Thoughts: What's in a genre?

March is my Exploring Genre's month and I'm so excited for it! I've got some awesome guest posts lined up but I've also got some thoughts about genres--who knew?

First off, what is genre anyway?

Well, as someone who loves to sort and organize things (particularly books...) I get it. We need to be able to categorize books. I mean, what would a library be without categories? Or Barnes and Nobel without their little section signs? You get the point...but I've realized the rational, sorting portion of my brain is in direct opposition with the creative "what if" side of my brain.

Obviously, anymore, there large exceptions to the broad genre categories. In romance alone you'll find Romantic Comedy, Romantic Suspense, Historical Romance, Contemporary Romance...and well, you get the idea. I like this because I feel like it opens up the playing field of sorts. It breathes room into the "anything can happen" possibility of a book. But, sometimes, there's some big resistance--especially from those who are dogmatic about their preferred genre and don't like to see it "profaned".

@createexploreread

But there have been some unlikely genres that have gotten crossed successfully. Like Amish Zombies From Space by the talented Kerry Nietz, the sequel to his Amish Vampires in Space. Or like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is super popular right now. (And can I just say the movie was awesome? Matt Smith as Mr. Collins = brilliant). Then there's the slightly less drastically crossed genres like Ted Dekkers Hacker or Marissa Meyer's Lunar Chronicles that combines well-known fairy tale stories set in a futuristic world. Hum, I guess that's still pretty dramatic...

By nature writers are creative and inventive, it's no surprise we like to "blur the lines" where possible. 

But what's in a genre--really? I mean, how important is it that you can categorize a book? I've found myself feeling stifled. What if I want to write a romantic suspense that involves super powers? Or what if I want to have a mysterious/thrilling romantic comedy? I'm sure there are examples of books with this so obviously it's been done ;-) But, in all honestly, I don't like the fact that authors often get pegged into a genre and they get stuck there.

I know, I know, I hear you all--but "Insert My Favorite Author" writes "Insert My Favorite Genre" so well, I don't want to read anything else by them! That's fair. I get that way with some authors too and find that some authors write a particular genre better than anything else (that is, if they branch out at all). Also, there's the fact that the publishing world would say "Pick a genre and stay with it" (most of the time). But...but...my creative mind rebels.
 

I realize I'm not "every author". I don't pretend to speak for them, but I will speak for myself saying that I love a lot of genres. Personally, I'd be happy to write Science Fiction, Romantic Suspense, Dystopian, Historical, Fantasy, Romance, and even a few combinations of the above :D Alas, I'm afraid I may need to be pegged into a genre for a time...It's not the worst thing and as a reader I appreciate being able to understand what I can expect from an author...but it still feels limiting.

Like Shakespeare's quote, we pick up a genre because we like it, but I have to wonder if we're missing out by limiting ourselves. In the world of self-publishing I think there are more options than ever to break out and to "name" what we write just a little differently. Then again, there are categories for a reason too. *sigh* What do you think, dear readers?

It's your turn for Honest Thoughts: How important are genres to you? Do you like a book to stay within a specific genre or do you like it when they "cross" into other genres? What's your favorite genre? What genres would you like to see "crossed"?

Honest Thoughts: The Hero

Hum, it seems a little...odd that my banner for "The Hero" is in pink, sorry for that, but hey--I had to stick with a theme here.

If you've been following this month's Honest Thoughts posts you may have caught my thoughts on fictional romance, happy endings, and last week's tribute to The Heroine. It's only fair that I spend equal time on The Hero.

I've got to be fair and admit right here and now that writing my male characters is my favorite thing! And reading a great male character makes me *super* happy. I'm not going to say I've got it down, just that I enjoy it. And, when I'm creating "my guys" (as I affectionately call them) these are some of the things I think through...

The Hero

Make him manly
Um, yeah, of course he'll be manly. He's a man. If you thought this, I don't blame you, but it's one of my biggest pet peeves. Newsflash: men are not women. *Gasp!* I struggle when I'm reading a book where the man thinks or reasons like a woman. Sorry, but that's just not how they (men) work. I think the challenge here, if you're a woman writer, is you're not a guy. That inherently mean's writing the male POV (point of view) will be more difficult. It will require research, men reading/critiquing your work, and truly getting out of your female perspective. But it's oh-so-worth-it because your readers will get a look into his brain and his heart.

I'm not saying he can't have feelings or emotions or that he can't think through things, but consider the context. I love what Ronie Kendig says about this in one of the classes I took from her titled "He giggled?" She points out that, while in the middle of a fire-fight (or some other high-octane situation) a guy won't turn to his girl and look at her through lovey-dovey eyes, kiss her and tell her how much he cares for her. No way! He'll be doing everything he possibly can to rescue her! I know it's tempting to put in those moments because they make us ladies go "awe" but there are better times and places for that and they would be more true to a man's nature.

Give him flaws
Just like with the ladies, our gentlemen need to have flaws. This is pretty standard with any character, but I think it's the type of flaws that matter. I love what Susan May Warren says in her book, Kiss and Tell: How to write a Brilliant Romance*.  She explains that every man's flaw is tied to a fear that they have. Once you know that fear, you find the flaw(s) that springs from that. Have you thought this through? Readers will be able to tell when a man has a weak flaw or no flaw at all. Our flaws are what make us human and what make characters easier to relate to! (tweet this)
*P.S. Her book is seriously fantastic and you should really go check it out...

Create a swoon-worthy guy 
My, oh my how I love a swoon-worthy hero! You know the one I'm talking about. Maybe he's sullen, or hilarious, or tough, or broken but trying not to be. Whatever he is, there are a few things that I think are distinctly "swoon-worthy":

- He's funny: Not every hero will have a sense of humor, but sometimes it's just right.
- He's relentless: Um, why do we love Mr. Darcy? Because he kept coming back!
- He's got honor at heart: He's not a coward, nor will he run from a fight.
- He's protective: Mmmm, one of my favorite traits of great male characters.
- He notices her: Kind of obvious, but there's nothing better than your hero really seeing your heroine.
- He cares: I love a guy who pretends he doesn't care when he does.

Your hero may not "be" all of these things, but it's highly likely that he has at least one of these traits. Which ones did I miss? (tweet the question, join the discussion)

Make sure he's strong enough to rescue her
At the end of the day, we are drawn to heroes because they are the rescuers. That doesn't mean he won't fail or make mistakes, but he will do the right thing in the end. He'll make the grand gesture because of his motivation which is usually a combination of love or caring for the heroine or other characters and a sense of duty and honor. When a male character falls short of being able to rescue your heroine, we have to wonder...why is he the hero? I'm not saying that he needs to be Rambo, and maybe his strength isn't physical but mental and/or spiritual. I just personally believe a good hero makes the HEA (happily ever after) possible because of his strength.

And no, I'm not saying that heroines can't be strong or rescue their guys! But a man is created to be protective and giving him the room to do that within a novel can be a truly beautiful thing.

There you have it, some of my thoughts and The Hero. I can't wait to introduce you all to Slate "Thorn" Hawthorn, the main character in the first book of the series I'm working on. Talk about swoon-worthy!

Now it's your turn for honest thoughts: Who are your favorite male characters? Why do you like them so much? What draws you to them?

Honest Thoughts: The Heroine

Oh boy, oh boy! Or maybe I should say oh girl... We're talking about heroine's on the blog today and I'm pretty excited. Following my thoughts on fictional romance and my obsession with happy endings, I thought I'd take a look at the people behind both of those things: her and him.

The Heroine

Where can I start with this? It's a huge topic, I realize that, but I thought maybe I'd do a few pros and cons that I've come across in my fictional escapades. This is not a complete list and I haven't done research (um, unless you call reading a ton of books research?). I do think it comes down to who the author sees their characters as too, but these lists are more for taking a look at what makes up an amazing heroine...and what doesn't. I'll use examples where possible of characters I've loved or not-loved, but again it's not all inclusive.

This girl....YES!

1) She's strong
I'm not talking about the super-human-strength type of strong (though maybe, if it's speculative fiction). I just mean she's got strength of chracter. A heroine that grabs my attention when she's got something worth fighting for (ha! see what I did there?)

2) She's brave
Bravery looks different in different characters. I honestly can't stand a heroine who is whiny. I get that women can be delicate and afraid of things--totally okay--but I can't sit through reading a book where she never finds some inner (or outer) strength. An example of a heroine who isn't like this is Kelsea from The Queen of the Tearling. She's not your typical "beautiful" heroine, but she's brave and smart.

3) She's got a unique perspective
Getting into the thoughts of a heroine (or hero for that matter) is probably one of the most connecting things a writer can do with their reader. When I see into a characters thoughts (whether in first person or third) I know them. I know their fears, their motivations, their likes and dislikes. It's personal. That is also why it's sooooo important to give your heroine a unique perspective. (tweet this) It's a tenuous line to walk between getting annoyed at her (*cough*Twilight*cough*) and loving her (*smile*These Broken Stars*smile*).

4) She's got issues
Okay, this one comes with a major warning. It is possible to have too many issues. We're talking about the girl who never gets it right and who is completely down on herself. All. The. Time. That's not what I mean. I think what I love to see is a girl who has real struggles. I think Cinder in The Lunar Chronicles is a great example of issues that are real, but not over done. We can relate to her insecurities but admire her for pressing on despite them.

5) She overcomes
There is nothing more satisfying than a heroine who overcomes the obstacles that are in her path. (tweet this) I mean, this is the time where you jump up and down and shout out for her. You think--I could be like her--because you see that, despite the issues she has, she is someone who overcomes. Some good examples of this in my opinion are Mare from Red Queen, Parvin from A Time To Die/A Time To Speak, or Bilquis from The Legend of Sheba.

That one girl...NO!

1) She's annoying 
Well, obviously this would be a problem.  How can you read through an entire book when the heroine get's on your nerves. I've mentioned Twilight, but though I really liked the Hunger Games series, there were times when Katniss really got on my nerves. I felt that way a few times with Matched and City of Bones. Not enough to stop reading, but it was something I did take note of.

2) She's weak
Yeah, I can't do this. Again, I'm not saying she needs to be able to leap tall buildings or lift a car or something, but her weakness needs to come from a real source, possibly her background or something, and then it needs to be proven false or overcome. To let a character exist in her weakness for long periods of time creates a mundane cycle that we as readers can't escape. (tweet this)

3) She's too emotional
Gah. Anyone else feel me on this one? Yes, I know girls are emotional (I am one) but I cannot stand the repetitive cycle of thoughts and emotions that spiral downward. She should be affected. She should have dark times. But if that's all we see of her, she's one dimensional in her emotions.

4) She's got issues 
Yes, same as above. But it's true. If she's got too many issues, we are only focusing on her issues. This could work for a women's fiction, but even then I'd say there must be more to the plot than her issues. The outward influences on those issues will be a factor. Her relationships will be a factor. You get the point...

5) She's flat
A heroine needs to be vibrant. (tweet this) She needs to be the reason we pick up the book again and again (ok, the hero can be that too, but work with me here). This is even more important if the book is mainly about her, her characterization needs to be strong enough to give us a good sense of who she is but not so narrow that it alienates others from connecting with her. That's a tall order, but I've seen it done well. Make her vibrant. Make her real.

So there you have it. Some of my yes and no moments about heroines. As much as I love a fantastic plot (and I would say this is a requirement for me) I also love fantastic characters. They really do make or break a book for me, but what about you?

Now it's your turn for honest thoughts: What do you like/not like about heroines? Give some examples of heroines you loved and those you didn't like as much.

Honest Thoughts: Happy Endings

We talked a little bit about this in last weeks post about fictional romance, but I felt it deserved its very own, honest post.

Let's get this out in the open just to be safe:

I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS.

Whew. There, I've said it. I confess. No, I'm not strong enough to endure a sad ending. No, I don't want to look for the "slightly hopeful tidbit" that "really creative" author put there in that last sentence. No, I don't want to feel like I've been run over by a truck and, despite what everyone says, will recover eventually. I don't like sad endings. I. Just. Don't.

Okay, before I rant any more, I will say that I do however, understand sad things happening in a book. I guess, if we're being specific here, a case could be made that in many instances of "sad endings" there were "happy things" to redeem the book, but to me it's usually not enough. I guess we could debate on a case by case basis if needed.

The Why

My desire for all things to work out may stem from my motivation to read. Why I read what I read is a direct result of what I want to feel after I read. (tweet this) I want to be taken on a journey. To feel the adventure. To agonize over the path that leads to the end. BUT, I want to be left satisfied. I guess, for most books that I've read or stories that I've heard told (or seen in movies) satisfaction is gained by happiness.

Hum, that could be analyzed if we dove more deeply into what happiness really is and all that, but let me mention the second reason why I read fiction (I'm add "fiction" to this so it's more specific). I also read to escape. Not as a way to ignore my own personal life, but as a way to jump off the ledge of reality and plummet headfirst into a world that's not my own.

It doesn't have to be a fantasy for me to get lost. I will find myself in another world that's very similar to our own, but in this world there's one particular thing that makes it magic: It's not our world. It's a world where love can over come obstacles. Where killers can be found and stopped. Where good can overcome evil. Where we get to see into the minds of characters.

In this world, I don't think it's too much to ask for a happy ending.

The How 

I'm not going to say that everyone's happy endings need to look the same. In fact, that wouldn't necessarily make it a "happy ending" just an ending. I think the beauty of real happy endings come from the authors mind. It begins with their characters and the issues they must face, overcome, and conquer. Then it transfers onto the page by the adventures and misadventures their characters journey through. It lands when the resolution shows just how it all works out.

The tricky thing about this, in my opinion, is for authors to come up with a truly great ending that packs a punch (no matter your genre) while surprising the reader. We don't want the typical, easy answer. We want something vibrant, creative, and unexpected (if I can speak for readers as a whole).

Let's face it. Anyone can say "they lived happily ever after" but if you don't show us how they got there, it's not worth it. (tweet this) We need to see them working for that happy ending. It needs to be like a juicy stake we get to after a month of eating salad (this metaphor breaks down if you're a vegetarian...). A truly happy ending comes after a lot of pain--just like most good things in this life, right? (tweet this)

So please, authors, remember the power of a happy ending. Your readers will grow based on what your characters discover and that will, in turn, shape more than just your story.

Your turn for honest thoughts: Do you like a happy ending? Why? Is it a requirement? What are some of your favorite books with happy endings?

Honest Thoughts: Fictional Romance

First off, thank you to everyone who participated in my Flash Giveaway yesterday! Talk about a HUGE success! There were over 300 entries in one day. I was shocked and super excited. Thanks to all who entered and spread the word about my Society6 shop (check it out here).

If you didn't win there's still a chance to take part in my *special* just for you promo code for 20% off on pillows and throw blankets and FREE world wide shipping.

You've got to use this link (below) in order to get the percentage/shipping:

PROMO CODE

Oh, and did I mention I added new designs??? Cuz I DID :D

All right, now on to the post that should have gone up yesterday but, amid the giveaway craziness, I didn't have a chance to get it up.

Fictional Romance

Ahhh where do I begin?

She looked into his eyes and saw her past and her future collide. All of her hopes and dreams were summed up in this beautiful being in front of her. He took her breath away with his strong jaw and deep-set eyes that always held her gaze. He was perfect for her, and she'd never let him go...no matter how much he licked her face. 

Her dog Fido was the only one for her. 

Hehe. Did I get you? I know, not fair--I played with your emotions. And isn't that what good romance does? The strength of a good story can't be underestimated. We get lost in the lives of the characters and find that no matter how many other things we should be doing we are going to read.

I have a love/hate relationship with the romance genre. *Gasp* I know, shock of all shocks the girl who writes romantic suspense has a non-romantic bone in her body? Well, kind of...

I love a great romantic story and my tolerance for cheese/sappy romance is extremely high (just ask my boyfriend who sat through a bazillion Hallmark Christmas movies over the holiday). But what I don't have a tolerance for is half-hearted, bad romance (I apologize now for all of you that are humming the song--if you don't know what I'm taking about, that is perfectly fine).

This may not be what you were expecting, but I like a little bit of the unbelievable when it comes to romance. No--hear me now, I am NOT saying that it should be an "insta-romance" where she looks across the room and just knows she's going to marry the tall-dark-handsome-etc man. But I think the beauty of the romance genre is it's sparkle. (Um...technical term?)

The fact that anyone finds anyone in this world is just shy of amazing, let alone the fact that a man and a woman could see past each others flaws (because isn't that always what we're needing to do?) to the true character beneath. Many of my favorite romances delve deep into these things. They take a real-life thing and wrap it up in "what if" and send it out into the world in the shape of a book hoping to remind us that there is such a thing as a happy ending. (tweet this)

But isn't that unrealistic?

Yes, in some many ways a great romance can be unrealistic, but I've always thought of it this way: Great romance takes moments of time and expands them, pulling and stretching them apart, to see them for what they truly are (tweet this). A moment of his touch on her arm. Their gazes locked together. Her heart pounding and face flushing with the fact that he sees her--not just her beauty, but all of her.

*Sigh*  

That to me is what makes romance so beautiful. The feelings of emotion that jump off the page and sink deeply into our hearts. It makes us remember that we can believe in love, no matter how bleak the world is.

This is not to say that reality is as shining or nearly as exciting as the romance contained in the pages of a book. Nor is it to say that we can gain a completely accurate picture of what romance should be, but a good author can spread truth about what love is (tweet this). It's patient, kind, doesn't envy or boast, is not arrogant, isn't rude... (see full list here). So, in that way, I love romance.

What don't I like about the romance genre? Well, the very same things. I know, I know, talk about confusing right? I think the issue comes out when we take what is shown to us and make it an ultimatum in real life. He must love me this way--all the books say so. What a dangerous notion. We must realize that a book is just that--a book (though it pains me to say it). You are reading entire seasons of characters lives at once (sometimes in one sitting if the books good enough) and suddenly we start to think: this is the way life should be.

I read for the sheer pleasure of it. I have a big imagination and love story worlds created by talented writers. I shouldn't read to compare my life to a fictional characters or their fictional romance. I should be more concerned with my own story (and trust me, the Author of my life knows exactly what He's doing). Yes, I will gain insight into my life from books and that's a good thing, but the moment my expectations of real people are based on the actions of characters from books (from the mind of other people not in my situation), I need to ask myself if I'm being fair. And if my pleasure of reading has become a standard rather than an escape.

So there you have it, my honest thoughts about fictional romance.

Now it's your turn to be honest: What do you readers think of the romance genre? Do you like it? Do you prefer sub-genres instead? What's one of your favorite romance novels and why?

Honest Thoughts: What I really think about things

I realize by nature of me saying that these are "honest" posts may but into question what the rest of my posts are. Am I not being honest there?

No. Well, maybe?

Ha! Just kidding. But really, I am not lying in the other posts, but I've decided to dedicate my Thursday slots to a new series this year (tweet this) where I plan to be honest about certain topics. They may be difficult things I've come across, lies I want to dispel, or maybe just things I've thought about and want to share with you all. I guess it's just a way for me to share my opinions about things with you, my dear readers.

I know I don't need a specific "day" to do this, but it's actually challenging me to think about topics related to my themes for the month and delve a little deeper into what I think. A challenge is good--right? I'm excited, and maybe a little terrified, about what may come out...but you all have gotten to know me (if you've spent any time on this blog) and I think you'll be able to handle it.

The best part with these posts is that I'll be able to share more of me with you. Don't get me wrong, I love sharing about my favorite authors and new writers, but I also want you to get to know who I am and what I'm passionate about. Really, it's the whole reason behind this blog! (Oh there's one other way you can do that too...click here!)

So, I invite you to come back next week when I "officially" kick off this new Honest Thoughts thing and share about something near and dear to my heart...romance. Um, you may be surprised at what I say ;-)

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Also, if you didn't know, there are LOTS of ways you can connect with me during the week! I am crazy a little enthusiastic about social media *coughs* and love hearing from you all! Here are some ways we can meet up:

My author Facebook page - I share all my posts there (including guests posts), funny things, silly things, giveaways, and more!
(connect with me on Facebook)

My Twitter feed - Twitter is an interesting beast to me...but I do have fun connecting on it. I share random stuff there as well as giveaway reminders etc.
(connect with me on Twitter)

Instagram - Gaaahhhh!!! I LOVE Instagram. Maybe the photographer in me, but it's true. So, I've got 2 accounts (I know...I'm that girl). But one is for pretty much all things and the other is strictly for nature and reading and showing off my Society6 stuff!
(connect with me on Instagram or @eahendryx)
(connect with me about books and exploring on Instagram or @createexploreread)

Pinterest - *Sigh* I spend too much time on here...sometimes. I don't allow myself to go Pinterest-crazy often, but when I do...watch out world!
(connect with me on Pinterest)

Goodreads - Probably my second favorite thing next to coffee in the morning is hoping on Goodreads and just looking at lists and lists of books! And, maybe this is weird, but I LOVE updating my "pages read" status...I just feel so accomplished! Plus I've got a fun group there too - you should probably join ;)
(connect with me on Goodreads)
(join my super-fun Goodreads group)

See you around - reach out to me because I WILL say hello ;)