I set out with high expectations for this book and they were not
unfulfilled!
Altared
by Claire & Eli was a
fantastic book summed up perfectly by this
statement from the cover: "The true story of a she, a he, and how they
both got too worked up about we."
I'd love to be able to perfectly sum up this book within a few short
paragraphs but I feel that would rob you of the joy of reading it for
yourself. Instead, I shall just wet your taste buds and hope that this
unashamed act of manipulation will cause you to rush out to the nearest
bookstore (or better yet the ever-fast-shipping Amazon) to buy this book and
experience it for yourself. The rest will merely be my musings on
singleness in the Christian world today - take it or leave it for what it is.
Being a single woman in today's society I have experienced most, if not all,
of the responses, accusations, judgments, hypothesizes, and conclusions this
book discusses. Some have come from others, some from my own mind, and
some from articles or other forms of media out there today. All of these
things combine to create a confusing, if not inaccurate view of what it means
to be a single person, namely a Christian person, in the world today. The
pressures put on singles to be married are faced almost daily in some cases and
you can’t help but wonder, “What if God is less worked up about marriage than
we are?” (from the back cover)
The first unusual thing I noticed about this book was its brilliant
combination of story and theology. This is not merely a book telling you
what to think or reason about God, but rather a story of two people who have
found their intertwined lives impacted by the realization that
our story
is really more
His story (or, at least, it should be). Their
playful combination of loves first-looks and the residual sense of confusion as
like turns to dating, draws the reader in, subtly giving way to deeper thoughts
on such concepts as what true love is (as modeled by Christ), self-denial and
what that actually looks like, and even the taboo topic of loneliness and how
that can be a positive thing when turned into accurately-focused solitude.
One of the themes of the book I resonated with the most was the fact that
our modern Christian culture is heavily saturated with “marriage-happiness”
which is (in their definition): “having an inordinate preoccupation with
marital pursuits, sometimes at the cost of other Christian priorities, commonly
seen in evangelicals” or “a giddiness stemming from all things related to
marriage”.
I can’t count the number of
times I’ve slipped into this but also the number of times others have pushed me
into this or have spoken about my singleness out of a “marriage-happy”
perspective.
Are we really
that focused on marriage that being
single is now a sin or is it, at the very least, a passing phase that we must
endure in order to make it to the high spiritual plateau of marriage?
I think not.
Obviously marriage is a beautiful thing.
A refining thing.
Something the
Bible holds in high regard, but it is
not
an ultimate thing nor the only way to be refined.
If it were, then passages like 1 Corinthians
7 would be very out of place in the Bible.
I wont get into this argument too much because I think the book does a
great job of discussing it – much better than I could.
But it is something to think about.
Why is the idea of singleness anathema in
Christian circles? More over, why is marriage upheld as the
best thing a single person could enter
into with no regard to their personal relationship with the Lord.
Have we really considered the fact that it
may be better for us singles to remain single and devoted to the Lord?
Sounds like I’m either making the case for
complete singleness or just justifying my own single status huh?
Well, that is not at all my platform.
I want to be married as much as any other
girl, but these are questions that have arisen from
Altared and I think
they are legitimate.
I shall close this haphazard book review by merely saying this: no matter
your Facebook relationship status (ie: married, in a relationship, single, it’s
complicated….) you should check out this book.
The refreshing way it’s written will not only entertain you (at the least)
but it will also challenge you.
You
don’t need to be single to gain something from this book – in fact I’d highly
recommend reading it if you are married as well!
I believe it could change the way we view
relationships and friendships within our church, community, and life while simultaneously
affecting the way marrieds and singles interact.
The principles relayed in the book are
Biblically based and therefore appropriate in all areas of life.
I will leave you with a quote from the end of the book.
It’s so simply stated and Biblical, and I
feel it perfectly sums up the ultimate goal to this book: “To follow Christ, we
must lose our lives to gain them.
To
love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor
as ourselves, we must deny ourselves and take up our crosses daily” (228).