Christmas for me is a time when I think of all the fun things I can do for my children. I look forward to it, think about it, and remember to pick up things when I see them. However, I don’t really hold the spark of Christmas tight to my heart. I am realizing that this year as memories of my Grandpa come flooding back.
He was never a Christmas kind of man, he didn’t have the truth in his heart at the time, and yet he would do anything for me come Christmas. He bought me this huge tree--it’s acrylic--and bought all the decorations I wanted and needed. My grandparents raised me for a time and had a hard time riding the line between being strict like a parent and spoiling me as a grandchild. I don’t think my grandpa fought that battle too much, as evidenced by all of his affections.
As I thought of him more vividly than I have in recent times, I started to wonder, why is it that now, during this time of year, that I feel so attached to his memories? Why am I not this affected through the year?
Immediately my mind drew the parallel to my Savior. Why am I not as avidly adoring when things are normal? The daily wear and tear. Why do I need a holiday or a hardship to draw me in, build a relationship and a memory? I wish I had the answers, however I don’t. At least not today. Someday I hope to, but for now I will be content in the effort of growing. Which really is no effort because the task isn’t on my shoulders.
My God grows me. Often, it’s through times like this. Times of pain, sorrow, fear, doubt--you name it.
I was reminded recently that it’s all by grace, the only difference between myself and someone who doesn’t lean on Jesus is grace. Given by the same Jesus. I am just as corrupt as anyone. I have no strength on my own. None. I thank God for that, because whenever I am strong, I lose sight of Him.
Today, I am thankful for my tears of sadness, because they brought joy with them. Joy of the love I was graced with, shown by my Grandfather. There are so many others who have graced me with the same unconditional love. They manifest God’s precious grace to me when I need it most. This Christmas I am reminded how I am loved. I am reminded by my children that Jesus was also once a child. I am so blessed by that image.
I endeavor to keep that Christmas spark in my heart, through out the year. I don’t want to get distracted by material things. I just want to be a light, as beautiful and bright as the ones on my tree. I want to draw people in and show them Jesus, with as much excitement as I share when I have my decorations up. I want to manifest grace and love in the same ways I have seen, then to bless someone as immensely as I have been blessed.
I pray all of you reading have been as loved as I have. That you have been wrapped in blessings. If you haven’t--if there’s been no light in your life to make you feel warm and welcomed--I’m sorry to hear that. Please, reach out. Pray. Ask the Father.
I wish you a warm and Merry Christmas and I hope you feel the love that Jesus has to offer.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
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