don't miss the forest for the trees

I think back to the times where I'm desperately searching for something that I've lost.  I'm panicked.  I'm frantic.  I'm about to go ballistic because I cannot find my keys!  And then, two seconds later, there they are, sitting peacefully on the kitchen counter right where I left them.  And I was so sure I'd put them in my purse or on my bed... I didn't find them right away because I wasn't looking in the right place.

In Luke we read about the Jewish leaders and how they were desperately searching for the Messiah.  They were panicked.  They were frantic.  They were about to go ballistic because they could not wait for their King to come and take over.  Then Jesus showed up at the temple and was nothing like they'd expected.  They were awaiting a powerful and dominant King and Christ came as a humble servant. They missed the whole point of why He came (and that it was Him) because they were only looking for a Messiah of their own making.

I don't want to do that in my own life.

I'm not afraid of missing Him because I already know Christ, but I am afraid of searching so intently for what or how I think the Lord is going to act, that I actually miss what He's doing.  It's so easy to find yourself looking in one direction, waiting for the Lord to respond in a certain way and getting frustrated when it doesn't happen.  It's the times when your idea of the 'perfect solution' to a situation actually fails and you wonder if things really ever will work out.

But those are exactly the times when it's best to be ready for the unexpected to surpass our own ideas.  We see it in the parable of the prodigal son.  There he was, thinking that the best possible outcome for him would be to come home and work as a slave for his father (because at least that was better than not having food to eat).  He made up his mind and returned home, lost and broken, and what did his father do?  He threw caution to the wind and ran to meet his son, embracing him, clothing him, giving him his ring (like a personal credit card) and on top of that he threw a party for him!  I'm sure that was not the outcome the son was expecting or looking for.

I want to always remember that picture when waiting on the Lord.  His plans are always better than our own.  His way is always best.  His perspective infinitely more detailed and, when we step back and let Him lead us, we can't go wrong.

renewed, refreshed, refocused

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you're just going through the motions?  Where you find yourself questioning your own motivations, wondering if what you hold so strongly as your beliefs are truth or are maybe founded on something wrong?  I know I have those days...sometimes those weeks, but today, for some reason, I started assessing what founds that initial questioning.  What makes me look around and wonder, "Is this real?".  I'm sure there is more than one answer to that, and yet I think...actually no, I know there is really only one answer to it - but I'm getting ahead of myself.

There are a lot of things we do - as Christians, as humans, as friends, as lovers, as brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers...you name it, and there is generally something associated with that role.  For me, being raised in a Christian home and accepting Christ as a small child, I felt I was 'expected' to act/live a certain way.  You know, the 'good girl' thing.  It's not that my parents forced this on me, it was just my understanding of being a Christian at that time in my life.  It took me 'growing up' and going to college to realize that my faith couldn't exist just because my parents said it did.  As much as I respect them and look up to them as pillars of faith in my life, I knew I couldn't rely on their beliefs as if it were my own and call it good.  I had to accept my faith as personal; a relationship between Jesus and I.  Recognizing that, I found myself growing in leaps and bounds as I became saturated in His word and spent time with Him in prayer.  I stopped looking to others to gain my faith from and instead turned to God to establish His word in my heart and to answer my questions through scripture.

Years later, I can look back on those initial growth spurts and smile - completely seeing the hand of God through all of those times!  But, I also see times where I struggled.  It wasn't always easy to believe and I didn't always find the answers to my questions right away.  I did notice that in the times where I was struggling the most, there was one thing I overlooked every time.

I forgot who I was.  And, unfortunately, I still have times where forget who I am.

Maybe that sounds a little existential, but what I mean by that is the minute I start looking to myself to try and make sense of life, I forget Who is really in control.  It's so easy to think that the life I'm living is just all a performance when you conveniently forget what the purpose of life really is.  Based solely on a human understanding, life could be about making yourself happy and doing things so that you live your life 'satisfied'.  But then I think of all of the things in my life that are supposed to make me happy and remember that they don't - not completely.  Friends are great and money is nice and relationships can make you feel happy and fulfilled for a time, but what happens when those things don't work out?  When your friends can't hang out with you and your pay check doesn't quite stretch far enough and when your boyfriend dumps you?  Then what?

Then you're left to yourself and your own thoughts and that's a scary place.  No matter the amount of time I could take to 'make myself' be a better person, there is no way that I could actually accomplish anything worth noticing.  Sure, I could give money away, feed the poor, help an elderly neighbor get her cat out of a tree... you name a good thing and I could do it, but doing all of those things would get to be so tiring!  I know I couldn't keep it up for long and then I would be right back where I started - feeling purposeless and hopeless.

The beautiful thing in the midst of all of this is a simple word: grace.  Getting to the place where you recognize that you can't do anything to be good is exactly the place where Jesus meets you and says you don't have to do anything!  In fact, all you have to do is accept that He already did it all.

Maybe it's just me, but this always seems too good to be true.

But it's not!  In the midst of those times of questions and wondering if my life is headed in the right direction the answer to all of this is as simple as reminding myself of the gospel.  It answers every question I may have.  It puts me in the right place - recognizing that I am a sinner and don't deserve to be saved, but then comes along side me and lifts me up saying that I don't have to deserve anything.  And then, at the end of it all, it promises that Christ will always be with me, helping me, strengthening me, and guiding me through all of my life.  Through the good and through the bad.  I'm not alone and I'm not purposeless.

The gospel has renewed me.  It has refreshed me.  It has (and will always) drawn me near to the Lord and that is the best, most peace-filled place to be.  It's what I choose to focus on.

Check out James 4:1-10

learning from a broken man

Have you ever messed up really badly?  I mean, really, really badly?  You get to that point where your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach and you just know that you've ruined everything?  David was definitely at that point.  There he was: a King, a warrior, a husband (a few times...), even a man after God's own heart, and he'd blown it.  Completely.  He had just been minding his own business when suddenly he was over come with lust for another mans wife and, rather than flee that temptation, he enabled it.  He used his power as King and called her to him, slept with her, then sent her back to her husbands household like nothing had ever happened.  On top of all of that, when he found out that she was pregnant, he tried to get out of it by sending her husband to her so it would look like the child was his.  When that didn't work out, things went from bad to worse as he sent her husband into battle, purposefully, to be killed (2 Samuel 11).

I read that story recently and was again struck by how utterly selfish David's actions were.  But, thankfully, I'm not the only one who noticed that.  In the next chapter (13) Nathan, a profit at that time, was instructed by the Lord to talk with David.  He told him a story, painting the picture of a poor man who could only afford to have one sheep.  This man loved the sheep and treated it almost like it was part of the family.  Then, one day, a rich man entertained guests and, rather than kill one of his many sheep, he took the poor mans lamb and killed it to feed them.  David burned with anger against the rich man in the story and claimed that he should be put to death.  Nathan simply pointed out that David was this man.  

Talk about a revelatory moment.  There David was, thinking he had gotten away with his sin - the woman's husband was dead, she was now his wife, they were having a child - all was well.  But no, the Lord brought David's sin to his attention through Nathan.  But the part that gets me is David's response.  He simply says, "I have sinned against the Lord."  It's short and too the point but I'm sure those words held a lot of weight.  In that moment he was recognizing that he hadn't just sinned against Uriah (the husband) and he hadn't just sinned against Bathsheba (the woman) but that he had sinned against God.  

Unfortunately, as is always the case with sin, there were consequences that came with David's actions.  The child Bathsheba bore became ill.  And what did David do?  He didn't walk away and say, "Oh well, that's what I get for messing up",  thinking his sin still held him captive.  Instead, he inquired of the Lord on the child's behalf and fasted, laying on the ground all night.  When the child eventually died and David found out, he got up, took a shower, changed his clothes, and asked for something to eat.  Those who had wondered at his sanity only a few hours before were amazed at this change.  He replied to their questions by saying, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who knows, the Lord may be gracious to me, that the child may live.'  But now he has died; why should I fast?  Can I bring him back again?  I will go to him, but he will not return to me." (2 Samuel 12:22-23).

In the midst of David's sin and grief, he held fast to the Lord.  He understood that he had sinned against God, and he also remembered that the Lord is in control of all things - his child's health as much as his own eternity (v23).  I feel as if I can look to David and learn so much just from these two chapters.  At Hume Lake this year the theme was centered on David and a week studying that has forever affected my view of this King and "man after God's own heart".  It's not so much that David was perfect and worthy of being in the position he held, but the fact that he understood who he was in perspective to who God is.  David messed up.  Big time.  Yet, in each of those situations he took rebuke and owned up to his sin only to fall on his face before the Holy God in true repentance.  

I want to respond like David when faced with my own sin.  I want to recognize that it is a sin against God and, in turn, repent and move on.  It's much too easy to get weighted down by past sins, allowing them to change the direction of your future, but if we understand true forgiveness and what Christ did on the cross for us, I think we'd think less about ourselves and more about Him.  The beauty of Christ's sacrifice is the fact that it doesn't take anything from us to accept Him.  Not a clean slate or a good work.  All it takes is an understanding of our own sin and an acceptance of His sacrifice on our behalf.

A final word from David:

The Lord is gracious and merciful;

Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness.

The Lord is good to all,

and His mercies are over all His works.

Psalm 145:8-9

are you yelling? are you seeking? (part 2)

"The gospel view of salvation doesn't just humble you before people who don't believe what you believe....but the gospel version of salvation says serve them...make this a great place for all the people  of the city to live.  Because that's what God is seeking to do - to bring a new heavens and a new earth." - Tim Keller

It's all about the Kingdom.  And I'm not just talking about a Kingdom we'll eventually get to that appears far off and distanced.  It's about the Kingdom of God that's right now - at this moment - existing.  I know I have trouble completely understanding that.  What does it mean when we say the Kingdom is now?? I think some of that is cleared up by a definition of what the Kingdom actually is. 

Jesus uses many parables to describe what the Kingdom of God is, or is like.  He compared it to a man searching for fine pears and, upon finding the finest pearl, he sold all the possessed to obtain that pearl (Mt. 13:45-46).  He compared it to a king who wanted to settle accounts with some of his subjects and one appealed to him asking for time to repay his debts.  The king then forgave him the entire debt and let him go.  But this forgiven man turned around and called in debts that people owed him and showed no compassion.  Jesus then said of this, "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart." (Mt. 18:23-35). Jesus also compared the Kingdom of heaven to a man who sowed good seed in his field.  Some of the soil accepted it, some appeared to accept it but the shoots were choked out by weeds, and some flat out rejected the good seed and died on the rocky soil (Mt. 13:24-30).  He also compared the Kingdom to leaven (like yeast).  He said that it was like leaven a woman placed in flour and set aside until all of the flour was leavened (Mt. 13:33). . 

That's a lot of weird descriptions for a place, huh?  Well, it would be strange for a place but I like to think of the Kingdom of heaven as more of an all-encompassing idea.  In these instances, and many, many more that Christ gave of the Kingdom, it represents an acceptance of what it means to be a child of God.  As Keller hinted at in the quote above, living out our faith in Christ requires that we live focused on the Kingdom of God which, in turn, compels us to serve others.  We're not just living for ourselves and what we can (or think we should) get, were living together in order to give an example of what Christ's Kingdom looks like, albeit an imperfect one.  

With that in mind, it's refreshing to realize that we should not be alone in attempting to live out this vision.  In fact, we can't live it out alone!  We must be like the man who sold everything he had in order to purchase the pearl of great price but, instead of getting a pearl, we are giving up our idea of what life should be and receiving eternal life in its place.  Eternal life that, in essence, starts right here on earth.  Our hope would be to affect others like the leaven affected the flour.  Just a little bit was introduced but soon all of the flour was leavened!

At my church we focus on living in community with one another.  That could be a strange thought or phrasing to some, but basically it just means living life with one another.  We are trying to live out the Kingdom here on the earth within our small communities spread throughout the valley we live in.  It doesn't mean we seclude ourselves from everyone, but quite the opposite!  We try and live together in such a way as to show our freedom in Christ, our salvation in Him, our hope that is in Him, and our commitment to Him.  It's living purposefully.  It's making the effort to invite neighbors and coworkers over so they can gain an inside view into what the Kingdom of God actually looks like here on earth. I even know people in our church that have discussed the idea of purchasing homes close to each other just to further their involvement within a community!  

Have you ever thought about your finances that way? Living for the Kingdom means that we live like the church in Acts where it says they were, "Continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer...And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need" [Acts 2:42, 44-45].  I see that as a radical way to live for the Kingdom.  Seeing all that we have (not just 10%) as the Lord's.   Making decisions based on what He is instructing us to do, not based on what we think will be the best career move for us.  

A questions I would leave you with (and that I'm asking myself too) is this:  Is your life focused around living for the Kingdom or living for yourself? 

are you yelling? are you seeking? (part 1)

I was listening to a sermon by Tim Keller titled "Exclusivity: How can there be just one true religion?" It is part of a series on some of the biggest issues people have with Christianity and what the truth is behind those issues.  The part of this talk that really struck me as different started about three fourths of the way through.  I transcribed a few statements that he made that popped out to me the fist time I heard them:

He was explaining the difference between various religions and Christianity.  He was saying that, if all that mattered was getting into heaven (as in the case of Islam and Buddhism etc.), then the thing that propels you and your religion is to convert more people to your"tribe" so you can all escape this earth and go to heaven.  He went on to contrast this goal with the goal of Christianity by saying, "But if the purpose of salvation, according to the Bible, is a new heaven and a new earth - is a transformed world where death and poverty and disease and suffering are gone,  then, for you to be working with God, you are working to make this a good world."

He then said that this type of salvation is exemplified in Jeremiah 29 which says that God commanded them to go into the pagan city of Babylon to "seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf; for in its welfare you will have welfare (v7)."

A misguided view he was trying to get away from was the fact that, by claiming Christianity is the only way, you are automatically putting yourself above others and erring on the side of pride.  His response to that was: "The gospel view of salvation doesn't just humble you before people who dont believe what you believe....but the gospel version of salvation says serve them...make this a great place for all the people  of the city to live.  Because that's what God is seeking to do - to bring a new heavens and a new earth."

The last quote that really hit the heart of what he was saying was this:  "The salvation of God is not to escape this world but to redeem it."

It's been at least a week since I listened to this sermon and that part still causes me to stop and think (so much so, that this will be a two part post).  I can honestly say that I've never looked at the difference between Christianity and other religions in this way.  Yes, I've heard it said that Christianity is the only "religion" (and I put it in quotations because I don't like calling it a religion...but that's another post) that follows a resurrected and living savior, among other statements, but here, Keller is taking it a step - or a few steps - further.

Salvation offered by Christ is about redemption!  It's about making broken things whole.  Old things new.  Dirty things clean.  And when it's put in that perspective, of course what he says about redeeming this world makes a lot of sense.  But, in saying that, I found myself asking a lot of questions after agreeing with that statement.  I'm no scholar of theology but the words "working with God to make this a good world" initially make me think twice.  Work?  But we're not saved by our works.  But if we are saved, we should desire to do good things.  And good?  Can this world be good again without Christ coming back first?  Yes, this conversation goes on and on in a circular fashion that can only truly be explained by giving the balance over to God.

So what does Keller mean?  I think the answer lies a few statements later when he says, "But the gospel version of salvation says serve them...make this a great place for all the people of the city to live."  His focus was primarily on the fact that believing that Christianity is the "only way to heaven" should not fill us with arrogant pride but should, instead, instill within us a driving desire to serve others and to pray for their salvation.  Christ, as our example, said He came into this world to serve, not to be served (Matthew 20:20) and to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15).

Have you ever noticed that, if you are in an argument with someone, yelling at them almost never changes their mind about anything but, if you are controlled and humble, listening to their side of things, they will at least hear you out when they are done? I think so many Christians today yell instead of listen.      "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).  I'm not saying we shouldn't speak up - absolutely not - but the way in which we talk should be affected by what we've heard non-Christians say about Christianity in general.

They say we are self-righteous and prideful.  We should be the fist to admit we're wrong and always act in humility.  They say we hate and condem.  We should be described by love and kindness, not afraid to speak the truth, but to always do so in gentleness.  And they say we are hypocritical.  Every area of our lives should be formed around Christ and the gospel, living genuinely no matter the circumstance.  There should be no cause for non-Christians to say our lives don't match up with our words or actions.

All of this said, I think the other point that Keller is really trying to hit home is about the Kindgom and what that looks like.  I'll discuss that in the next post (the "are you seeking?" part) but, until then, you should really check out this sermon.  He handles these claims and more in such a brilliant way!

moment creatures

"When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You were on our side"
-Bethany Dillon

Lately, these lyrics have been haunting me (in a good way).  Ever since I sang this song with my friend Desiree on Monday I've been thinking of the second half of the chorus.  It's such a heady thought to realize the Lord could have remained silent on our behalf.  He didn't have to save us.  There would be no judgement on Him for allowing His creation, which turned against Him, to perish.

I've been reading a book called Demon by Tosca Lee and, though fictional, I have found it eye-opening in a certain way.  The story of the fall, as well as creation, told from the perspective of a fallen angel (the demon) sheds light on the glory of God as well as His love for the "clay people" (humans).  God didn't give the option for the fallen angels to repent.  He didn't send His Son to them.  It's just such an interesting thought.  I've never considered the uniqueness of our situation as humans quite in this way before.

And yet, here we are, living as if the earth is ours with no consequences.  Seeing it solely for our own purposes and desires.  Running around like selfish children grasping at anything in our reach.  We seek fulfillment but are satisfied with the most weak, unfulfilling things that are sustained mere moments and then gone, vanishing in mid air.

On top of all this, we blame God for our forsaken situation and hurl insults in His direction saying, "If You are real!" or "How dare You do this to me?" because we are such moment creatures.  Feeling and sensation control us and compel us to seek our own good above all else.  Anything with an unsatisfactory outcome is suddenly proof of God's non-existence or His lack of love for us.

But do we even know the definition of true love?


"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son..."
John 3:16

"In this is love [true love], not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation [atonement] for our sins."
1 John 4:10

"God is love."
1 John 4:16b


God showed us a greater sacrifice of love than anyone or anything in this world has ever portrayed or ever will.  He has never asked us to repay Him.  He has never asked us to commit the same act either (as if we could).  And, He has never required us to be worthy of accepting Him.

We only need realize that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus."  Romans 3:23-24

With the death of His Son, He not only showed us what true love is and does, He made a promise.  He said that with belief in Him, we would always have His love and forgiveness; His grace.  No constraints.  No clauses.  No requirements other than to set up a lifestyle of love for Him and, in turn, for others.

Now that is true love.

Paul - why so serious?

To me, Paul (the apostle), seems so...serious.  And I don't mean that to sound as if it's a bad thing, so much as its just something I've observed as I've been reading through Acts recently.  I have a feeling most of the disciples were actually this way - not all the time, I'm sure, but in general.

When I ask myself why that is, I'm faced with a hard truth.  I believe the main reason is because they understood the gravity of the gospel.  They saw and experienced its miraculous, transforming power and felt an urgency that most of us can't even grasp.

We are so caught up in "us".  Faced with the idea that the gospel means more than "our next thing" doesn't shake us.  I sometimes think it doesn't even touch us.  Paul was ready to die "for the name of the Lord Jesus" (Acts 21:13) and nothing - not his closest friends or co-workers in Christ - could convince him to choose himself first.  And they definitely tried (Acts 21:4,11).

How different that is from us.

What price have we (or have I) paid for the gospel in our lives?  What hard decisions have we let ourselves get out of by the convincing statements of our family or friends?  Have we allowed ourselves to slip into complacency with regards to the truth?

I hope not.

I don't want to be that person!  I want to understand that there is nothing more precious, nothing more valid, and nothing more relevant than the gospel and what that means to our world.  I want everything in my life to be ordered in such a way that it all reflects and revolves around Jesus.  I guess, in a word, I want to be totally surrendered to Him.

I'll leave you with a few lines from a wonderful hymn...

All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live

I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.